In an interview with ABC News which aired on May 9, 2012, President Barack Obama affirmed his support of same-sex marriages. He went on to explain that he and his wife, Michelle, had discussed the issue for many years. President Obama acknowledged that his position would not be popular with many in the African American community, including African American clergy, but declared that he felt it was right for him to affirm what he believed.

Obama has openly affirmed his Christian faith and offered these comments on how his and Michelle’s faith played into their decision:

“We’re both– practicing Christians. And– and obviously– this position may be considered to put as at odds with– the views of– of others. But– you know, when we think about our faith, the– the thing– you know, at– at root that we think about is not only– Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf– but it’s also the golden rule, you know? Treat others the way you’d want to be treated. And– and I think that’s what we try to impart to our kids. And– that’s what motivates me as president. And– I figure the more consistent I can be– in being true– to– to those precepts– the better I’ll be as a dad and a husband, and– hopefully the better I’ll be as a president.”

What was your reaction to President Obama’s decision? What do you think of his rationale on how his faith influenced his decision?

Known for her energy and vitality, Gospel Today asked her, “How do you manage your time and your energy? How do you rebound when you’re just exhausted—spiritually, mentally and physically?”

Many leaders and churches want to give back in their community and just don’t know how or where to start. What outreaches is The Potter’s House currently involved in? Why is it important for every church to be involved in some form of local outreach? How can churches, large or small, get started? When a church does do an outreach effort, how should they gauge “success”?

Every visionary leader needs people around him who will help him bring the vision to reality and sustain it. However, leaders can often fail to see many of the important details and potential problems that will come in following the course of action they suggest. When should a staff person be a “yes man” and when should he point out the flaws and problems in their leader’s course of action? What tips would you give for advising a visionary leader?

Hear Pastor Chris answer these questions: In many churches young people and children are an after thought of our planning and budgeting. What process does TPH use for budgeting and planning to meet the needs of youth and children? How do you mobilize and screen enough volunteers to make sure youth and children are being touched by the right hands?

He’ll also share on these topics: What goes in to service planning at The Potters House of Denver? How important is it that the music and the bulletin and the sermon and the altar call all flow together to drive home a singular point? Should we obsess less about service planning and put more time and effort into making sure the Holy Spirit is able to move freely in the service?

The awards show was taped this past Thursday, April 19th, at Atlanta’s Fox Theatre.

Hosted by David Mann and Chonda Pierce, the evening featured performances from Mary Mary, Donnie McClurkin, Wess Morgan, Yolanda Adams, Angie Stone and many more.

A full list of this year’s winners is available right here: http://www.doveawards.com/winners.php

And make sure you tune-in to gmc on Tuesday night at 8pm ET, or catch the encore at 10pm ET!

GT: You two have been married since March, 1993. How did you meet?

Kelley: Well, I met his mom while getting my hair done. She was so persistent, I thought her son must be really ugly (laughs). Eventually she gave me his number. I didn’t call because I was trained that you don’t call the guy. Then I ran into him again with my dad, who was a teacher at the same high school, but he didn’t talk to me there because, you know, you can’t run game with the teacher standing right there. About a year later, a friend of mine broke up with him. She gave me his number and I finally was brave enough to call. We met that day and have been together ever since. When I opened the door, he looked at me and said, “AHH you’re my wife.”

Reggie: And that was over twenty-one years ago when we were still in high school!

GT: How long did you date before you got married?

Reggie: Two years and three months

GT: So, Reggie, you knew right off that she was the one?

Reggie: Yeah, and it went so far beyond her looks. She was a beautiful young lady, but there was more of a spiritual connection. I wasn’t really living for God at the time, but I felt it even then. I felt in my spirit that this would be the one that would be able to complete and complement me.

GT: What did you guys do to prepare yourselves for marriage?

Kelley: We had a child (laughs)! We already had our son by the time we got married. We really just knew by this point. It just looked bad for him to be the pastor’s son, with the baby.

Reggie: Really, it worked out. Romans 8:28 says. “All things work together for the good”. After we had our first son, we knew that we needed to make that decision. Here we are almost 22 years later with 5 kids.

Kelley: We share that because a lot of people that come to us for counsel say, we go married for the “wrong” reasons, or we don’t love each other anymore. We always explain it as; we got married because we had a baby. Was it for the “right” reason? I don’t know. Is there ever really a right reason?

GT: That’s a great point to bring up. Everyone thinks that pastors live charmed and perfect lives. It’s great to be free and honest enough to say it wasn’t all perfect. If you do get married under those circumstances, what kind of things do you have to be aware of? Do you have to go back then and redo some things?

Kelley: Now, I think we would encourage people to understand that when you are looking for in a spouse or a dating relationship to make sure that person can complete you. Make sure your not just looking for physical attraction, but also their mental capacity. You know, are they able to think?

May-June 2012	This article is a "GT Connext" exclusive. To read the printed companion article, please purchase the May-June 2012 issue of Gospel Today.

Reggie: I always tell my church, you know what a certain woman brings to the bedroom but what does she bring to the table. Is she going to add value to you? I believe what Proverbs 18:22 says, “He that finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” A portion of your favor is connected to your good thing, your wife. Like the book of Genesis says, “For its not good for man to be alone.” At the end of the day, she is supposed to be able to help complement you. She should complete you as a man and be a resource.

We work together in ministry now but as teenagers we didn’t all of see this. I saw it to a degree, because God always gives you a sneak preview of what He wants to do in you and through you. But I was in denial, because at the time, being 18, you’re still doing you. Isaiah 40:30 says, “Young men will utterly fall”, so a typical 17 or 18 years old isn’t focused—not on Jesus. But it’s a blessing to see now, how God has flipped our script and now we’re doing God, not us.

Kelley: We also tell couples, “Talk to somebody.” We were the couple, that although we weren’t living for the Lord, we still went to church. We would walk in like everything was ok; we didn’t know you could reach out for help. We were dealing with financial issues, relationship issues, just the whole package that comes with being married.

Now, we encourage our church members to talk to someone. Seek out counsel. You’re not a failure if you’re in a struggle or having problems. That’s why we make it a point in our ministry to have “date night,” where we give an invitation on the last Friday of every month to encourage couples. We talk about real issues: how to argue the right way, compromise, etc.

We tell married people to stop making everything that doesn’t go your way a crisis. We encourage people to go out on a date, because a lot of times when you get married you don’t date anymore. That’s part of the problem; you have to invest in your marriage and not just financially. We’re very pro-family; love your wife, enjoy your husband, have fun together.

Reggie: One of the things we still do nineteen plus years later, I still date my wife. Every Friday, my kids know, that’s Mom and Dad’s time. I think that’s where a lot of couple’s miss it and end up with an unhealthy marriage or get divorced because of the quick relief. We were separated for two months, back when we were 19 and 20. There was such a relief that came with being separated. We no longer had to fight for our marriage to be healthy. You have to be willing to number one fight, and number two, put in 100% from both parties.

We always thought it was 50/50 until someone ministered to us that it has to be 100% from both parties in order for you to have a healthy marriage. That’s when a light-bulb went off and I was like, “Ok, in order for me to have a healthy marriage I have to give 100%”. My mother always said, “If you’re giving your wife frustration, you’re going to get hell back, good measure, pressed down and shaken together!” That principle not only works with money, it works in every which way.

We are very transparent when talking to people because like Revelation says, “We are overcomers by the words of out testimony and the blood of the lamb.”

Check out more from the Steeles in the May/June 2012 issue of Gospel Today. You can also listen to or order their new CD, Overflow, here!

Married June 23, 1984, Alvin & CeCe Winans-Love, have built a life together marked by unshakable joy—a deep determination to live in a condition of happiness and contentment that is not dictated by external conditions.

In the May/June issue of Gospel Today they paused to share some of the things they’ve learned about life, love and marriage. The result was a veritable marriage conference! Here’s a few snippets from our conversation:

GT: How did you two meet?

Alvin: We met about a year and a half before we got married. I met her brother at a church that I started attending, which was CeCe’s home church in Detroit. The first time I actually saw her was in Detroit when she came home. A group of us went bowling and so we always tell people we met in the bowling alley!

GT: How did you get to know one another and start dating?

CeCe: He came to Charlotte, North Carolina with my brothers and we all went to the amusement park. It was a weekend celebration that the Winans were singing at so he came down. Before he left that weekend he got my number through my brother and called me. He asked me if he could come over and talk to me and that’s when he expressed his interest. Actually, he told me that day—that first weekend that we spent together—that he was going to marry me and I was like “Okay.” (laughs)

GT: What came next?

CeCe: There were definitely lots of phone calls! We gave a lot of our money to the phone company and also traveling from Charlotte, North Carolina to Detroit and he would down to Charlotte.

During that time we really strengthened our friendship—I think that’s probably one of our strongest points. We became friends but it wasn’t hard—it was kind of natural. I was able to be myself with him and I believe he was able to be himself with me and a lot of couples I think miss that, you know.

They don’t really feel at home and that’s a problem, because if you can’t be who you really are with your spouse then that’s going to be rough.. If you can’t have peace when you’re at home, where can you?

We were just instantly friends; it’s not something that we really had to work at because I really don’t believe in that—not before you get married. Now, when you get married you just have to work it out but I think if you’re working hard before you even get married, then maybe that’s a sign that you too should not get married. I’m sure there are different stories but I say, if it’s rocky when dating that means run. (laughs)

GT: Did you do premarital counseling? Are you in favor of it today?

Alvin: During that time, I don’t think we know a lot about premarital counseling in our church. I did ask her dad for her hand in marriage. And we did go to our pastor of course. CeCe spoke to him and I spoke to him separately. He advised us at that time to just separate and give it a month. He said to pray, seek the Lord and see if this was God’s will but at the same time, he gave her his approval of me because, he had pastored me from the time when I got saved. He told CeCe that he was in favor of me which meant a lot because he was the type of person who had been CeCe’s pastor since she was a baby.

Today, I am in favor of premarital because counseling brings up things that initially we may not—even things you don’t even know to talk about.

GT: Obviously, CeCe is famous and talented and has been traveling the world for years. Alvin, some would say that you’ve been in her shadow all these years. How has that dynamic played out in your marriage? We feel this is especially relevant given that a lot of guys in today’s economy may not make as much money as their wife makes but still take their responsibility as a provider and covering seriously. Can you speak to that?

Alvin: Absolutely! I think it goes back to just being who you are. When CeCe and I got married she wasn’t the CeCe Winans that everybody sees now. I had a job. I supported her until about two years later when she and her brother (BeBe) got it going on the road and really started selling records.

The financial transition didn’t affect me. It wasn’t like one day I looked at the payroll and said, “Oh, she’s making more money than me now so I’ve got to go through this psychological change.” It was a blessing! I said, “Well, great CeCe!” She was doing what she was called to do and loved to do.

I was successful doing what I was doing in the corporate world. When CeCe suggested that I come off of my job to travel with her, I hesitated because it would have stopped me from the track that I was on—I was like, “I do this and you do that.” But, the Lord placed on my heart, on both of us, that it was time for me to leave my job in sales even though I was doing very well.

I’ve always been the type of person who had a job. My father didn’t believe in just giving us money. I had to go out there and earn it. I was always doing a paper route, washing cars or cutting grass—anything I could do to make a dollar. So, to me, work was not something that was hard for me to do. It was something that I had to do. And so, when I didn’t have a job anymore I felt more uncomfortable than anything.

I guess to answer your question, I think that a lot of the men who struggle with their wives making more money than they should be sure that their own self-esteem or self-confidence is where it should be. Because if you’re not confident in who you are, it is going to come out in the marriage in one way or another. That’s a common question that I get because there’s so many women now who are making equal to or more than her husband.

I didn’t realize that it was such a big deal until people started telling me how many men have a problem with it. They ask me, “Are you seriously okay with it?” I said, “Yeah, I mean it’s all the same money, isn’t it?” In marriage, if she wins, I win. When I used to win trips at work, Cece went on the trips too. She was happy for me and I’m happy. That’s what marriage is supposed to be—one for all, all for one.

May-June 2012	This article is a "GT Connext" exclusive. To read the printed companion article, please purchase the May-June 2012 issue of Gospel Today.

CeCe: Alvin was very secure in who he was. When men are intimidated by their wives, I think it is because they don’t know who they are. Men have to understand who they are and that the size of his paycheck does not define who they are as a man or change God’s order.

That’s what I want to tell women a lot of times—that just because they might be making more that does not affect God’s order. God has an order for marriage and man is the head. It doesn’t depend on who makes the most money. We’re all supposed to be in our places and in our positions and when you understand your position causes God to bless you in your position because you honor God’s order.

I encourage women to be women and to be the help-meet, they’re supposed to be. When everybody is in their place everything functions properly and then it’s just the process of us becoming that God calls to be, you know. It didn’t happen overnight but it is a process when we all stand in our position—when the man is loving the wife as Christ loves the church then the women respond to that in a great way.

When men don’t understand who they are then it causes problems. When women are trying to be the head of the household as opposed to submitting to the husband it causes problems.

It’s a daily process to be who God created me to be, to understand my role in marriage, to pray for my husband, to encourage my husband, to have patience with my husband, to build him up. The Bible tells us that a wise woman builds her home and a foolish woman plucks it down. So for me, to speak against my husband or to tear him down, you’re tearing yourself down!

I have to learn how to say certain things because one thing you learn is that I grew with my family and Alvin grew up with his family and so you come from different places and you have to learn how to communicate with one another. A lot of times I talked to him like I was talking to my brother but I Alvin would be offended by it. It was like, “Really? I didn’t mean it like that at all.” I had to learn another way and to humble myself and be willing to say, “You know what? I don’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry you took it that way. Okay God, help me to speak differently because you know Alvin better than I know him so help me to position myself and my words and my tone and my attitude in a way where he understands that I’m not trying to tear him down or offend him.”

That’s my part of allowing God to mold me and to change me into what I need to be. It’s just so important that as a couple, that as a wife, that you hear your husband and that you allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you and to mak, mold and shape you into what God wants you to be for your husband.

A lot of times we have the attitudes of, “This is who I am—you just got to take it like this.” No, no, no. That might be the way we are but that doesn’t mean God wants us to stay the same. We should be continually changing as we yield to the Holy Spirit. Allow Him to minister to you because then and only then will you be able to minister to your husband.