Living Out a Satisfying and Meaningful Marriage
Tony Evans
What is the most critical component of living out a satisfying and meaningful marriage is a correct understanding of God’s intention for marriage. Marriage is a covenantal union designed to strengthen the capability of each partner to carry out the plan of God in their lives.
Marriages today are deteriorating at such a high rate not because we no longer get along, but because we have lost sight of the purpose and prosperity of the marriage covenant. Marriages are collapsing because partners have come to a place where the reality they live in looms far from what they had once dreamt or hoped for… And many are getting out of marriage almost as quickly as they got into it.
For far too many people, the subject of marriage is like a three-ring circus. First, there is the engagement ring. Next, comes the wedding ring. Then, there is suffering!
One lady said that she got married because she was looking for the ideal but it quickly turned into an ordeal, and now she wants a new deal. One man said that he and his wife were happy for twenty years… And then they got married.
We laugh, but these kinds of feelings are far too pervasive in marriages today… Perhaps even yours. And they can lead to a crack in your relationship with your spouse that can push you dangerously close to a breaking point.
That’s dangerous because the breakup of a marriage these days doesn’t seem to carry the same gravity that it did in the past. So-called “no-fault” divorces offer the option of an “amicable” split, which has led to the ending of many marriages without even a hint of remorse.
It reminds me of a guy who went to the super bowl. The stadium was packed, but the seat next to him sat empty. The man behind him questioned him about the empty seat. He answered, “That seat was for my wife. She would have been here, but she died.”
The other man offered his condolences and asked him if he didn’t have a friend that he could have asked to come with him rather than let the seat remain empty. The man replied, “I do, but all my friends said they wanted to go to the funeral instead.”
Now, I realize I’m making light of a weighty subject, but I’m doing so to illustrate how the seriousness of the wedding vows no longer seems to be honored. Statistics remind us what we already know, either from personal experience or from our friends, which over 50 percent of all marriages will end in divorce. Over half of every promise made that “until death do us part” gets broken!
I just read your article on a meaningful marriage. My marriage is not where i want it to be. I love my husband of 33 year july 31st but it just sames as if there is not love from him. He works, comes home work outside, eat go the the room to watch tv go to sleep wake up for work kiss on my forehead off to work. No quality time for me unless we go to dinner. I have ask that we pray together for a better family and marriage but he just don’t see the need he says it all me. So wht is a woman to do in a marriage like this???????
When most young couples come to me saying they are getting married, I tell them that is great, but do you know what is required of you, not by your wife or husband to be, but by God. You are just not making a covent with him, but with God, and the road is not an easy one to travel but no road is easy traveled. Marriage is all about sacrifies if you are not willing to give and take then you don’t need to get married. Marriage is a work, you have to work at a happy mirrage and if you put God first and everyting else will fall into place. God honors marriage.
We whole-heartedly agree with this article. We have been ministering in the area of Christian-based Marriage Ministry for 10+ years as licensed, ordained clergy and professionally. As we have served within the church setting, conductig pre-marital, marital counseling and weddings, we often hear couples when they share that the examples from the pulpit are also vital. A pastor who upholds the standard of a Covenant Marriage Relationship speaks volumes as couples are seeking solid examples as well.
Recently, my husband and I came across the new “Reality” show, “Donald Trump’s Ultimate Merger” featuring former Apprentice contestant, and proclaimed, T.V. Vixen, Omarosa on the TV-One network. O.K., as it goes, we didn’t have the highest of expectations, mainly because T.V. is what it is, especially reality shows. However, what took us aback was that her so-called counterpart and spiritual advisor on the show was a well-known, mega-church, The WORD Network preaching Bishop!
At the risk of seeming judgemental, we would rather think it BOLD, we were just simply floored on several accounts. First of all, when the “Bishop” walked through the door to confront 12-men, vying for Ms. Omarosa’s affection through simultaneous seduction, looking for a chance to make the Ultimate romance merger, the Bishop presented each one with a pre-nuptial agreement and a short speech about how he counsels couples under the age of 35 primarily and sees this as a necessary procedure.
Secondly, none of these men seemed to know who this “man of God” was and there was no mention of the importance of a covenant relationship, honoring God through marriage, faithfulness, or even LOVE. It was all about protecting the woman’s assets!!!
Last but not least, there was no mention of scripture as it pertains to marriage, Genesis 2:24 that speaks of two people becoming One Flesh, Ephesians 5:25-33; referring to a man loving his wife as God loves the church, Proverbs 18:22; That speaks of the value of a man who finds a wife or, again, even 1 Corinthians 13; LOVE, plain and simple.
We can bear witness that this is not a subject to be taken or handled lightly or as some sort of means to make a name for ones self as a person of the cloth by becoming a spiritual celebrity if you will. Pastors, simply have a charge to keep. To maintain the integrity of the Gospel, first and foremost and not to mishandle the ones whom the Lord has left to our pastoral care for guidance and wise counsel.
Bottom line, there are just some things you just don’t do!! And we wonder why divorce rates, domestic violence statistics, single-parent families and confusion about true love is on the rise among Christians. Perhaps it’s because some have chosen to sell themselves to the media devil rather than uphold the Gospel by being living withnesses and by keeping their credibility intact.
Here’s a quote from that Bishop:
“In my book, this show just got that much better! I am very intrigued to see how this will play out. Omarosa is currently enrolled at United Theological Seminary pursuing her Masters and Doctorate in Ministry. Wonder how this will effect her decision in choosing a suitor on the show.”
We’re wondering the same thing, Bishop. By the way, if you’re wondering about the ultimate merger, consider Matthew 6:33 as well.
Of course, this is just our opinion, but one that’s worth considering as we as clergy provide Pastoral Care and Counseling.
Elder Zenola Diggs, MMFT
Master of Marriage and Family Therapy
Nashville, TN
I agree with Dr. Evans and also believe that marriage is give and take and pitch and toss. Considering each other. In most cases we go blindly into marriage and ignore all the signs, i.e. thinking we are both on the same page and later to realize we have different values and over the years we discover we are not growing at the same rate. One day you wake up and you realize you do not know that person. You both started out believing the same thing spiritually, (you thought) and after 25 years of marrriage you realize this person doesn’t understand what marriage is about. The wife does what she has to do out of duty and not devotation because the husband doesn’t give her anything to respond to. The spouse thinks he is fine the way he is and that it is the woman’s job to take care of her husband and all he needs to do is work and keep a roof over her head. (Forgetting she had a roof over her head before she met him)
Wow this is a great resource.. I’m enjoying it.. good article
I agree with Dr.Evans and also believe what the bible says about a marriage , Husband love your wife just as christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her and husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies,he who loves his wife loves himself. wives submit to your own husbands,as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife. Eph 5:21-33. God placed order and principles in our lives and we need to stick to that from his word.( Bible)
I agree Dr. Evans. Both the husband and the wife must know what God says about marraige. But a lot of times we come in marraige on what mamma said, what our friends say or what the media says. But if God did not say it, then it want stand. A christain or not a christain when your marriage go through trouble times (and it will) we are going to have to do what God said for us to do in our vows, to submit to one another and to forsake all other. So then its back on the both of you and God again just like it was in the beginning. So not knowing God’s plan for marraige will cause you to go through things you don’t have too through. So find out what God’s says on how to have a successfull marraige when thing are fresh in your marriage. Go to seminars and read book together so it will have time to marinate in the both you when trying times come. The devil hate marraige. But God created marriage. Don’t leave God out of your marraige and you will win everytime.